Before I became a stay-at-home mom, I remember a piece of advice given to me by one of my coworkers, “To keep your house clean, keep the people out.” I laughed at the time, but when I started working from home, I realized just how sound that advice was. My house was constantly being dirtied by the people who lived there – the kids and myself! I felt like I was using every work break to continuously tidy my home, only for it to be a mess again by the end of the workday. It was exhausting and seemed never ending. I had been using my trusty Fly Lady routine, which I had been successfully using since the birth of our first child. I knew the routine worked for me, and I didn’t want to change it. So, the question became, how do I keep my house clean while people are living in it?

1. Get Everyone on Board

This is the most fundamental piece of keeping a clean house no matter your work/life situation. It’s not all up to you mama! If others are living there, then the home is their space to keep clean too (with the exception of newborns of course). A child as young at 18 months can begin learning how to put their toys away, and pre-school age children are capable of LOTS of things: folding towels, folding clothes, cleaning their room, throwing trash away, clearing the dishes from the table, dusting and even vacuuming just to name a few. The key to this is taking the time to teach them how to do these things. I know, I know, that’s just one more thing on your plate, but hear me out. What if you took 5 minutes each day to instruct your child on how to properly complete one task, knowing that at the end of approximately 30 days your child would be able to complete the task independently? That’s worth the 5-minute daily investment!

I know there are people who think that chores and childhood do not go together – that giving a child chores is shortening their childhood. I’m here to tell you that chores and childhood can peacefully coexist AND give your home a sense of peace at the same time. There have also been multiple studies that confirm there are also academic, social, and mental benefits of chores, which you can read more about here. My children know that they are welcome to play with the toys in their room and that they are responsible for putting them away when finished. We fold laundry together as a family while listening to princess songs. Clearing dishes from the table is as simple as picking up your own dishes and bringing them to the sink. Most young children love to help; let them! But teach them how to do a task properly (not perfectly, just properly for their age). This ensures that they are building good habits while they are young and they will actually be a help to you as they get older and master the cleaning habit.

You’ll notice that I didn’t mention spouses. The reality is, you cannot control what your spouse does or does not do. You don’t have the same authority and responsibility over them like you do of your children. Open up to your spouse about the changes you’re trying to make in the house keeping. Be on the same page as much as possible and do what works best in your home. Some choose to split chores, some do not. In my home, my husband regularly helps me with those tasks that are still unfinished when he gets home from work. He wants to help me in that way, and I am so blessed to have him and his help! But, as someone who does not work, I feel that the home tasks are my responsibility, and I make my plans around myself and my children.

2. Get a Routine

Now that you’ve committed to teaching your children how to clean, the next step is to get a routine. Notice, I said routine, not a cleaning schedule. They are different! A cleaning schedule is a list of tasks that you’ll get to ….eh….sometime? A routine is something that happens regularly; a habit that doesn’t require too much thought. Think about what steps you take when getting ready for the day. You probably do a combination of the following: shower, dress, deodorant, facial care, hair care, and dental care. It sounds like a lot written out, but you probably don’t think about it anymore, and you’re probably quite fast at it when needed! Do this with your cleaning too. Don’t just say, ‘this is what I’ll clean today.’ Build it into your routine! For us, we use the Fly Lady cleaning method. I love this method because of her suggested routines and its thoroughness. No part of my home is being neglected from month to month. You can use whatever works best for your home but get it into a routine!

Here are some sample cleaning routine ideas; take what works for you and create new ones as you see the need. Start slowly, adding one new task at a time until it becomes a habit. Then, add a new task.

• When starting your day, make a few cleaning tasks part of your getting ready routine. Things like making your bed, starting the laundry, and clearing the breakfast dishes are a few great items to add to your morning. These are great to add to your children’s morning too!
• After school time but before lunch, have a 5, 10 or 15-minute family clean up. Split up tasks as needed; some children focusing on toys, older children on school materials, and you on dishes. Challenge yourself to get the dirty dishes out of the way before preparing the next meal. This keeps your kitchen tidy throughout the day and keeps the mountain of dishes at dinner away.
• After lunch, clear the table, sweep the floor, switch the laundry. You’re officially prepped for the second half of the day with a clean table, floors, and an empty washing machine!
• Before dinner, add one more 5, 10 or 15-minute family clean up. Focus on toys in main living spaces, school materials, folding the clean laundry, and clearing the dirty dishes out of the way before prepping dinner.
• Before bed, have the children clean their rooms. Pick up toys, put books away, and start winding down for bedtime. This is a great time to get showers and baths done too. The children not in the shower/bath should be cleaning until it is their turn. (Bonus: If your spouse wants to help with cleaning, those post-dinner dishes are up for grabs, and the final sweep of crumbs from the kitchen/dining table).

Now, you read that list and said, ‘But I don’t want to clean all day!’ Remember, these are routines. Just like getting ready in the morning, they will eventually become effortless and thoughtless, and you’ll be able to get through them quickly. Here’s the list again with an approximate amount of time for each routine:

• When starting your day, make a few cleaning tasks part of your getting ready routine. Things like making your bed, starting the laundry, and clearing the breakfast dishes are a few great items to add to your morning. These are great to add to your children’s morning too! (5-7 minutes)
• After school time but before lunch, have a 5, 10 or 15-minute family clean up. Split up tasks as needed; some children focusing on toys, older children on school materials, and you on dishes. Challenge yourself to get the dirty dishes out of the way before preparing the next meal. This keeps your kitchen tidy throughout the day and keeps the mountain of dishes at dinner away. (5-15 minutes)
• After lunch, clear the table, sweep the floor, switch the laundry. You’re officially prepped for the second half of the day with a clean table, floors, and an empty washing machine! (5-7 minutes)
• Before dinner, add one more 5, 10 or 15-minute family clean up. Focus on toys in main living spaces, school materials, folding the clean laundry, and clearing the dirty dishes out of the way before prepping dinner. (5-15 minutes)
• Before bed, have the children clean their rooms. Pick up toys, put books away, and start winding down for bedtime. This is a great time to get showers and baths done too. The children not in the shower/bath should be cleaning until it is their turn. (Bonus: If your spouse wants to help with cleaning, those post-dinner dishes are up for grabs, and the final sweep of crumbs from the kitchen/dining table). (10-20 minutes)

So, once you have the routine fully built, doing the minimum times, these routines would only take a total of 30 minutes. At their max, they would take 64 minutes. Thirty minutes to an hour a day to keep your sanity. That sounds worth it to me!

3. Let Go of Perfection

Some of you read that title and rolled your eyes. The truth is you live in your home! Unlike the fabulous space pictured above, your home won’t look Pinterest perfect while there are people living inside it. (My surfaces always have at least one or two drying art projects on them- anyone else?) Let go of what “perfect” looks like to you and instead embrace “functional”. A kitchen that has every single counter space covered with dirty dishes, food that hasn’t been put away and yesterday’s homework isn’t functional. You’d have to clean before you could cook. Bedrooms that are covered in toys, books, and dirty clothes aren’t functional. No one can play there. Living rooms that are meant for relaxing as a family aren’t functional when there are Lego blocks, baby dolls, books, and stuffed animals covering the floor and the couch. Don’t chase creating a perfect space just so you can impress your friends and family. That motivation won’t last long, and soon you’ll be right back to square one.

Focus on creating a home that functions! If you are paying a mortgage or renting, you are paying a lot of money to have that space. Let it be worth the investment! A space that doesn’t overwhelm you at the end of the day? Worth the time spent cleaning. A space that functions for your family? Worth the time spent cleaning. Children growing up, learning how to take care of their space? Well worth the time spent teaching and cleaning.

There you have it. These are the three, not so profound steps I took to create a relatively clean home. There’s not a huge secret (or a magic housekeeping fairy) that is keeping you from a clean home. Just these three things, working over the course of time, day after day, child after child, to create a functional space. If you’re overwhelmed with your home, I encourage you to give these things a try! And if you’ve found success or have questions, let me know. I’d love to hear from you in the comments!